This Week’s Jokes: Week of 8/22/16

KFC had to warn people that its new sunscreen isn’t edible, even though it smells like fried chicken. I mean…couldn’t you say the same about their chicken?

KFC had to warn people that its new sunscreen isn’t edible, even though it smells like fried chicken. A sunscreen can’t be that good if the first word that comes to mind is “crispy.”

KFC had to warn people that its new sunscreen isn’t edible, even though it smells like fried chicken. And comes with a side of coleslaw.

KFC had to warn people that its new sunscreen isn’t edible, even though it smells like fried chicken. And also to wear legit sunscreen, so they don’t end up skinless.

A federal judge blocked President Obama’s transgender school bathroom access guidelines. So hall passes cover the “when,” this covers the “where”…next they’ll want control over the “how.”

A federal judge blocked President Obama’s transgender school bathroom access guidelines. The GOP is so worried about what they think transgender kids will do in the “wrong” bathrooms, yet they have no problem with this judge just openly waving his dick around at the President.

More of Hillary Clinton’s emails uncovered by the FBI are going to be released to the public. What if this whole time she’s just been trying to plan a surprise party for America?

Stanford University banned hard liquor at on-campus parties to combat sexual assault. Yeah, because everyone knows you can’t put a roofie in just any drink.

Stanford University banned hard liquor at on-campus parties to combat sexual assault. It doesn’t only happen when people are drinking, dummies. It’s “raping someone,” not “eating cheese fries.”

Stanford University banned hard liquor at on-campus parties to combat sexual assault. No, give out more. If your college won’t protect these women, maybe whiskey dick will.

The USDA announced a $20 million bailout for the cheese industry. Now it’s all government cheese.

The USDA announced a $20 million bailout for the cheese industry. Protest sign: “We are the 1% milk drinkers.”

North Korea has its own version of Netflix called Manbang. That’s also how I’d describe Kim Jong Un’s haircut.

A new report says that if you use the Inkwell filter on Instagram you might be clinically depressed. Or maybe your serotonin levels are just old-timey.

Hillary Clinton said that Donald Trump’s campaign has made “hate groups mainstream.” And then the alt-right scoffed, “we were racist bigots before it was cool.”

Hillary Clinton said that Donald Trump’s campaign has made “hate groups mainstream.” Which was fine until she said “but I think they’re lamestream.”

Elon Musk has been trying to get a date with Amber Heard. Another man in her life who’s a 4-letter word.

Elon Musk has been trying to get a date with Amber Heard. Has he tried, “I invented the Tesla”?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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