This Week’s Jokes: Week of 5/30/16

Cincinnati Zoo officials shot an endangered male gorilla after it grabbed a child who had fallen into its enclosure. It was like an extremely realistic Jungle Book.

Cincinnati Zoo officials shot an endangered male gorilla after it grabbed a child who had fallen into its enclosure. Some are saying they made the wrong choice. It’s definitely easier to find more human kids.

Unsafe sex is the fastest-growing risk factor for illness and death for women between the ages of 10 and 24. You know what that means: girls be gettin’ it innnnnnn.

A lawsuit filed against McDonald’s claims that its drive-thru policy violates the Americans with Disabilities Act. How? You’re literally not allowed to walk through it.

According to a new report, Newark International is the most miserable airport in America. It was a close call between there and any other airport.

According to a new report, Newark International is the most miserable airport in America. Fun fact about Newark: You can substitute anything else for the word “airport” in that sentence and it’ll still be true.

The actor who played the Ugly Naked Guy on Friends corrected IMDb on giving credit to the wrong actor. To be fair, though, there are a lot of ugly naked guys lying around LA.

The actor who played the Ugly Naked Guy on Friends corrected IMDb on giving credit to the wrong actor. It was a historic role: The first time someone was asked to get naked on a casting couch that didn’t end in sex.

Five Men in New York were arrested for selling counterfeit perfumes made with urine and antifreeze. It was hard to catch them at first because everything in the subways smells like that.

Five Men in New York were arrested for selling counterfeit perfumes made with urine and antifreeze. They really put the P in perfume.

Gina Rodriguez loaned her Golden Globes dress to a teen for prom. Neither of them are Jane the Virgins anymore.

Gina Rodriguez loaned her Golden Globes dress to a teen for prom. But no one was impressed because they confused Gina Rodriguez from Jane the Virgin with Jane, the virgin.

 

 

 

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