Each week, the New Yorker holds a caption contest. They choose 3 finalists, and readers vote on the winner. I am never going to win. Instead, I’m going to try my best to lose, like, real hard. Here are some bad captions for this week’s cartoon. Which one should I submit?

Drawing by Mick Stevens, Contest #468, March 30, 2015

1. “Beep beep! Space Car comin’ through! Hahahahahahaha.”

2. “They say in space, nobody can hear you scream. I had no prob hailing this taxi, tho. Pretty wild!”

3. “Oh wow I am soooooo space-drunk. Thanks for picking me up, space-cab. How many more space-blocks is it? Man I could sure go for some space-coke right now.”

4. “Yo dude you gotta stop you just ran over Matthew McConaughey from Interstellar back there!” “Ehhhhh fuhgeddaboutit there’s no cops in space.”

5. “Can you go to Brooklyn?” “No.”