Recently, I adopted a cat. His name’s Lorenzo. He’s the handsomest gentleman you ever did see, and I love him very much. Too much? Shut up.

However, I think it’s time for me to come to terms with the fact that he may never be Internet-famous. Lorenzo is one sweet-faced perfect baby angel little sir. And he does OK in front of small Internet crowds. (See: @alisonlzeidman on Instagram.) But I just don’t know how to get him discovered, you know?

I mean, look at this guy. Come on. And the Internet just has no idea. Lorenzo is a good cat. He eats all his food; he sleeps on the couch. And he works really hard at it. But I’m starting to get the feeling that being good and working hard still might not be enough.

I figured since he came from a shelter with a bunch of other cats, Lorenzo would have all sorts of cat connections to help him get to the Internet, but…I don’t know, maybe there’s a reason those other cats were in that shelter. Maybe they don’t really know what they’re doing, either.

How can he get to the level of all those really hot cats the Internet industry loves right now? Are they just working harder than he is? I mean yeah there are those cats who are Internet-famous for joining with their cat-brethren to take over entire towns in Japan, but there are also cats who are Internet-famous for just being able to jump really far between a kitchen table and kitchen counter. I mean, Lorenzo’s at least on par with that, right?

Maybe he could hang out and watch other cats’ YouTube videos, and hope that they’ll notice and invite him on sometime? I don’t know. Is that stupid? He’d probably just end up being up late every night, working up the nerve to say something to them but then not, and then just drinking too much and wishing he’d gone to bed early.

As I write this, Lorenzo is running back and forth between the living room and the bedroom. I think he’s so brave for getting out there and still trying. And one day, if he is lucky enough to get an Internet audition…I know he’ll be ready.

And if not, well, the shelter’s nearby.

Just kidding. Lorenzo’s stuck with me for life. If you’re looking to get your own pile of kitty joy, check out BARC Shelter, where we found him.