Bad New Yorker Caption Contest Entries

Each week, the New Yorker holds a caption contest. They choose 3 finalists, and readers vote on the winner. I am never going to win. Instead, I’m going to try my best to loselike, real hard. Here are some bad captions for this week’s cartoon. Which one should I submit?

captioncontestDrawing by P. C. Vey, Contest #465, March 9, 2015

1. “Man, whole lotta fart smells comin’ from those heads in the floor.”

2. “This is where I bury the bodies but I ran out of stuff to cover ’em so they’re not like completely buried but whatever you get the idea.”

3. “HR’s pretty cool but I think my real future is in–whoooaaaaa lookit that there was an earthquake and everybody fell in the grooouuuuund!”

4. “Yeah I see them but I wanna talk about #TheDress some more so just shut up for like TWO SECONDS geez.”

5. “Ugh look at all those fatties down there who caved the floor in.” “You shouldn’t fat-shame, Jim.” “Shut up Bob, you’re a fatty too.”