This Week’s Jokes: Week of 5/5/14

Jessica Alba told Glamour magazine she has a no-nudity clause for films because she doesn’t want her grandparents to see her boobs. “What about what we want?” said Alba’s grandparents.

Jessica Alba told Glamour magazine she has a no-nudity clause for films because she doesn’t want her grandparents to see her boobs. “Nah that’s alright,” said Alba’s grandparents. “We don’t watch your movies.”

Prince William is being praised for his humility after flying coach on a flight from Memphis to Dallas. OK, now let’s see him take a bus.

Prince William is being praised for his humility after flying coach on a flight from Memphis to Dallas, which is weird because WHY ARE PEOPLE IGNORING THE FACT THAT A PRINCE FLEW THREW THE AIR LIKE SOME SORT OF MAGICAL FAIRY PERSON.

Monica Lewinsky told Vanity Fair she wants to end online bullying as “possibly the first person whose global humiliation was driven by the Internet.” The Internet says it did not drive global humiliation with that woman.

Kashi will drop the terms “all natural” and “nothing artificial” from packaging as part of a settlement agreement of a class-action lawsuit that accused the company of using ingredients processed with hexane, a component of gasoline. Packages will now be labeled “Regular,” “Super” or “Premium.”

Purina filed suit against Blue Buffalo, accusing the rival pet food company of false advertising about the “all natural” ingredients in its dog and cat foods. “You might as well be feeding your pets Kashi,” said Purina.

Purina filed suit against Blue Buffalo, accusing the rival pet food company of false advertising about the “all natural” ingredients in its dog and cat foods. Oof, harsh. It’s a dog food manufacturer eat dog food manufacturer world out there.

 

 

 

 

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