This Week’s Jokes: Week of 4/14/14

Nirvana reunited for their induction into the Rock and Hall of Fame, tapping female artists Joan Jett, Kim Gordon, St. Vincent and Lorde to sing lead in place of late frontman Kurt Cobain. Feminists are up-in-arms over the performance, furious that Nirvana would suggest it takes 4 women to do the same job as 1 man.

Portland, Oregon is dumping 38 million gallons of water after a teen urinated in a city reservoir. The teen is reportedly apologetic, telling city officials he only mean to help them “make water.”

Portland, Oregon is dumping 38 million gallons of water after a teen urinated in a city reservoir. Some are criticizing the city, calling it a wasteful decision, to which city officials responded, “Don’t piss in my reservoir and tell me it’s rain water.”

A pair of kittens were accidentally boxed and mailed more than 130 miles this week. There’s a joke about “pussy” and “box” in here somewhere but I’m not gonna try for it.

N*SYNC member Joey Fatone claims that the Backstreet Boys are doing their comeback tour because they need the money. Backstreet Boys fans are angry, and N*SYNC fans are wondering how Joey Fatone doesn’t also need the money.

A California couple stole a car in order to make it to court on time for a prior drug charge. Reportedly, the theft was part of their defense: “Only someone on drugs would steal a car to drive to court,” said the couple. “So…Boom. Double Jeopardy.”

A New Jersey woman says the state discriminated against her on the basis of her beliefs when it rejected her request for a license plate reading “8THEIST” as “objectionable.” “No,” said state officials, “we just thought it was stupid.”

A New Jersey woman says the state discriminated against her on the basis of her beliefs when it rejected her request for a license plate reading “8THEIST” as “objectionable.” The state has suggested that if she wants to make a similarly provocative statement without wasting government resources, they would be happy to direct her to the nearest Hot Topic where she can buy a T-shirt that says “ANARCHY.”

On Wednesday, a woman hosting an Easter egg hunt party for her four-year-old son discovered a dead body under her deck. But she acted like her son was the one who helped her find it.

On Wednesday, a woman hosting an Easter egg hunt party for her four-year-old son discovered a dead body under her deck. “We’re going to leave it there until this Sunday to see if he’s resurrected,” said the woman.

 

 

 

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